she did want to live and always had

“But North did not break his stride. ‘The current claims us all in the end,’ he called without turning. ‘If you want to live, you have to fight.’
[…]

The sky had gone dark. She couldn’t see the shore any longer, wasn’t even sure she was swimming in the right direction. If you want to live.

And wasn’t that the worst of it? She did. She did want to live and always had.” 

—Ninth House, Leigh Bardugo

 

♥ I love Millie’s Pottery – these Twilight mugs are a dream come true!

♥ Tammy Dinh has the most relaxing vlogs and cutest polymer clay creations

“I know what happens next. He’s going to deliver the final blow. Lopping off my head. Stabbing through my heart. The strike that’s a kindness, really. After all, who wants to die slowly when you can die fast?

Me.

I don't want to die fast. I don’t want to die at all.”
—Queen of Nothing, Holly Black

Sunday low energy mood

 

This is my favourite iteration of the lo-fi girl. I could live in this image with this music all the time.

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A post shared by Jess | Food Eater (@thatfoodiejess)

I love cooking reels, especially as I haven’t been doing a lot of cooking lately! The windowsill, plant, and dolsot pot are a dreamy combination.

favourite YouTube channels

☁ Tirion Law is a second soloist with the National Ballet of Canada and I love the behind-the-scenes look at her life.

☁ cari cakes reminds me of someone I could’ve befriended on LiveJournal when I was in high school who has gone on to live a beautiful bookworm life in Seoul.

☁ Kathryn Morgan is a blessing. Who else is putting ballet barres that good on the Internet for free??

☁ Michelle Choi is a forever favourite; her two most recent vlogs were absolute gold.

latest roll of film

 

There’s something uniquely beautiful about picking an old hobby back up where you left off to find that no matter how your life has changed, it still feels the same.

“‘Finding yourself’ is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. ‘Finding yourself’ is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.” 

 – Emily McDowell

birthday weekend

 

\

Celebrated with seaweed soup 미역국 and pointe shoes. Here’s to another year with more watercolour paintings and deeper stretches.

If there’s one thing this past year has taught me, it’s that time moves far too quick not to prioritise the people, hobbies, moments and dreams that bring you joy, love and peace of mind. And that it doesn’t matter, not even a little bit, what other people think about what those things are for you or how you do them – you’re the one that gets to live with your choices. ♥

all is never lost

I’ve begun the process of re-scanning and re-uploading my old film photos to a new Flickr account. Starting with some of my favourites from a trip to New York in 2013...

 

“I laughed but before I could agree with the hairdressers that she was crazy, she said, 

‘What’s the world for if you can’t make it up the way you want it?’

‘The way I want it?’

‘Yeah. The way you want it. Don’t you want it to be something more than what it is?’

‘What’s the point? I can’t change it.’

‘That’s the point. If you don’t, it will change you and it’ll be your fault cause you let it. I let it. And messed up my life.’

‘Mess it up how?’

‘Forgot it.’

‘Forgot?’

‘Forgot it was mine. My life.’” 

―Toni Morrison, Jazz

retrouvailles

 a weekend moodboard 

So much has changed since I was here last (and so many images look like this ). Time to rebuild.
Sometimes you end up right back where you started. I’m still the girl I was in 2011 – maybe more like her than ever.

Sunday: links I love

• Joan Didion, The Art of Fiction No. 71, interviewed by Linda Kuehl for the Paris Review
“I don’t know. I could say that I was writing to myself, and of course I was, but it’s a little more complicated than that. I mean the fact that eleven million people were going to see that page didn’t exactly escape my attention. There’s a lot of mystery to me about writing and performing and showing off in general. I know a singer who throws up every time she has to go onstage. But she still goes on.”

• A Window Into the Real Lauren Bacall, The New York Times
“‘Literally every tabletop had things on it,’ said Jon King, a vice president and the director of business development at the auction house Bonhams New York, describing the 4,000-square-foot apartment in the Dakota building on 72nd Street in Manhattan that Ms. Bacall bought for tens of thousands of dollars in 1961 and crammed with art and antiques including (and this is but a small sample) Henry Moore and Robert Graham sculptures, David Hockney photographs, Picasso pottery, Chinese bronze figures, Congolese head rests, Louis XV bureaus, Edwardian bamboo, Victorian needlework and Majolica china...”

• The Edwynn Houk Gallery’s selection of photos by Gail Albert Halaban on Tumblr
 

• Michael Salisbury’s industrial, architectural and cityscape photography on Instagram
  

• Hee Seo, principal dancer with American Ballet Theater, on Instagram
  

• Girls Against Humanity


• Mirko Rotondi’s Timeless Hotel photo series